Building a healthier relationship to stress

In this fast-paced, (dear I say it) ‘busy’ world that we live in, experiencing stress seems to be inevitable. Whether it's juggling work demands, managing personal relationships, navigating financial pressures, dealing with health concerns and more, stress can creep into every aspect of our lives, often unnoticed until it begins to take a toll on our mental and physical wellbeing.

 Whether you are in a leadership role, part of a team, or even a team of one, the following article is to support you in creating a healthier relationship with stress. Below is a simple exercise that you can lead your team through or use on yourself to gain clarity on your own unique response to stress and how to best manage it.

 Just as in any relationship, nurturing a connection with ourselves requires attentive listening and active engagement. This also applies when building a relationship with stress. The following will prompt you to consider your unique ‘stress signature’ as well as your ‘life medicines’ so that you have the awareness to support yourself towards optimal wellbeing. Self-awareness is the key to creating change. Through awareness of our thoughts and behaviours, we can begin to cultivate new habits and behaviours. 

Knowing Your Stress Signature

Knowing your stress signature is an essential part of managing your relationship to stress.  

Your stress signature is the way that your body reacts and feels when it is stressed. Each one of us has our own reaction to stress – a unique set of symptoms that emerge when stress levels start to rise. For some this may be tension in the jaw or irritability, for others it could be a change in appetite, sleep challenges and beyond. The list of symptoms is broad. 

Unfortunately, as stress arises and overwhelm occurs, the de-prioritisation of our ‘life medicines’ tends to happen at the time that we need them the most. This is why a crucial part of managing stress is to develop an awareness of the bodies signals so that we can take proactive steps to address them before they become overwhelming. 

Identifying your Life Medicines

We all have Life Medicines, but the degree in which each of us tap into them varies. 

Life Medicines are the different practices, habits, or activities that have a positive impact on our overall wellbeing. When we get clear on what our Life Medicines are, we are more likely to prioritise these when we need them, knowing the important purpose they serve. Some examples of Life Medicines may be:

• Taking a walk in nature

• Spending quality time with loved ones

• Eating in a nutritious meal

• Going for a long drive

• Disconnecting from technology

• Listening to music

• Moving the body

Like a stress signature, these are unique to each individual.

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Exercise

Knowing your Stress Signature:

Take a moment to reflect on the last instance when you experienced feelings of stress or being overwhelmed.

Consider the following:

• Physical Sensations: What was happening in your body during that time?

• Thought Patterns: Were there any specific thoughts or concerns that occupied your mind?

• Behavioural Changes: Did you notice any alterations in your lifestyle habits? For example, did you find yourself socialising more or less, experiencing sleep difficulties, or increasing screen time?

Jot down 3 to 5 key symptoms that serve as indicators of stress or overwhelm for you. Reflect on whether these symptoms resonate with other instances of stress or overwhelm. Identifying the recurring signals is crucial for recognising and addressing these patterns effectively when they resurface.

Identifying your Life Medicines:

For some, identifying their life medicines comes naturally, while for others, it may require some reflection. Below are some questions to prompt this process.

Take a moment to reflect on the questions below and come up with 5x activities or practices that are meaningful to you, serving as your Life Medicines. 

It's essential to note that these practices should genuinely enhance your wellbeing rather than serve as distractions.

1. What activities or habits energise, motivate, and invigorate me?

2. When do I feel most balanced and content in my life, and what am I doing during those times?

3. What practices or activities assist me in managing stress and maintaining emotional equilibrium?

4. Which relationships in my life contribute positively to my wellbeing, and how do I nurture them?

5. What hobbies or creative pursuits bring me joy, relaxation, and a sense of fulfilment?

Setting your personal commitment:

I am making the commitment to myself that when I experience:

( Write down your stress signals )

1. __________________

2. __________________

3. __________________

4. __________________

5. __________________

I will continue to prioritise the following activities until my symptoms have reduced

( Write down your life medicines )

1. __________________

2. __________________

3. __________________

4. __________________

5. __________________

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What Next?

Take note of your personal commitment to your wellbeing. And better yet, share it with a loved one who you trust who can serve as an anchor and compassionate reminder when your stress signals arise. Be kind to yourself and remember, if you don’t make time for your wellness you will be forced to make time for your illness. 

Please note: if you have been experiencing stress for a sustained period of time, it is important to consult with your doctor to ensure you are getting the level of support you need. 

How to deliver this topic to your team ( in person or online )

1. Have team members bring a pen & some paper to write their answers. You can deliver the questions verbally or show them on the screen. 

2. Have team members complete the first part on their stress signature & then open the floor for a discussion. This can be as brief or as in depth as you feel comfortable with. The intention behind sharing is to normalise conversations around stress, wellbeing and mental health, reducing the stigma that these topics can often carry. Normalising conversations also supports team members to feel that they are not alone in their experiences which has a greater impact on wellbeing. To maintain a psychologically safe environment, it’s important for sharing to be optional so those who don’t want to share don’t feel pressured. As a team leader, sharing your experience authentically allows others in your team to feel safe to do the same. 

3. Take some time to complete Life Medicines and then have another discussion. This is a great one for people to share because it allows us to learn more about our team mates as well as feeling inspired to try activities that others mention. If you have a team member(s) that are struggling to identify Life Medicines, this can be a great opportunity for them to try new things and get involved in your companies wellness programme initiatives. 

This article was written with care & intention driven by my psychology learnings and personal experiences as a Workplace Wellbeing Specialist & Life Coach. If you would like to delve into this topic further or explore how my services may support you & your team, you can book a free, non-obligation discovery call here.